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One way to do this is to use coaching techniques. Coaching doesn’t try to find a solution. It is a questioning technique which allows individuals to find their own way through. Using a coaching style in your approach helps to move the conversation away from just performance and to think more about development.
How to: adopt a coaching mindset
There are a number of ways that you can adopt a coaching mindset, however here are a few simple things that you can do to direct the conversation to a coaching one.
Have an Open Discussion
Avoid feeling like you have to find a solution or fix a problem. Coaching is about having a discussion to find a way forward – together. Choose your words carefully, they have the power to motivate or deflate. You want to inspire and motivate them. Even if they have underperformed you want them to be inspired to make changes.
If you need to have a difficult conversation about their performance, don’t criticise the person in general or their personality. Focus on discussiong how their performance or behaviour has impacted their overall performance or that of the team. This context helps people undderstand the impact of their performance. Both good and bad.
Ask Non-Judgmental Questions
It is your role to facilitate the other person’s thinking by asking open and powerful questions. You can then
Follow up questions to the intial questions might include things like:
- What do we do about that?
- How do we improve this?
- What do you think we/you should do?
- Give me your opinion?
It takes a minimum of three or four questions to arrive at the place what you need to be to be talking about someone’s motivation, drivers and beliefs.
Listen to learn and underst and
It is important to listen to learn and understand. Not to be polite. Come from a place a curiosity – listen to get to know them. Listen to hear them (not to prepare your response).
Take the time to repeat back what you hear as this gives you the opportunity to check that you have accurately understood what the other person has said (and for them to hear what they have said).
Be aware of Emotions
Be aware of both your emotions and the emotions of others during the conversation. Seek to understand how the other peson may be feeling and work to keep your emotions in check if needed. This is about them and not you.
Also don’t forget to also check in on the individual’s mental health and personal wellbeing, as there may be signs that come through during the conversation.